Perfect Mom Syndrome, beware, I’m about to spill some cold, hard truths about Motherhood that will allow you to free yourself from the cycle of Mom Guilt and be honest about how you feel in your Motherhood experience, without being accompanied by the heaviness of shame and guilt.
As a Therapist at Connections Counseling and Consulting in Matawan, New Jersey, let me tell you - you are allowed to dislike being a Mom.
When you come to my office and share this with me, I will support you.
Because it’s my truth too.
A perfect example of me, not loving Motherhood, while frog hunting with my crew.
The problem is, what you hear about Motherhood is that ‘it’s the greatest joy in the world." While there are undoubtedly beautiful moments, it's also relentless, exhausting, emotional and often overwhelming.
So let’s normalize the fact that loving motherhood doesn't mean loving every single moment, and when you have moments where you don’t love being a Mom, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love your children.
The societal pressure to portray motherhood as a constant state of bliss is harmful. It creates an unrealistic expectation that can leave women feeling guilty, inadequate, and alone. Replacing this ideal with more honesty, empathy, and compassion will help you to become unapologetic about your truth, and stand firm in the fact that while you always love your children, you don’t always love being a Mom.
Here are 4 Ways to Remove Mom Guilt and Embrace Your Truth, Without Shame:
Give Yourself Grace: Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. Cut yourself some slack. It's okay to have bad days, to lose your patience, or to feel overwhelmed. It’s also important for children to know that Mom has a limit that can be reached. Remember, being perfect is an impossible ideal and you are doing exactly what human beings should be, your best.
Seek Support: Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist, like me! Talking about your feelings can help alleviate stress and guilt. Only another Mother can understand what it’s like to be one. And only an honest Mom will hear your strains and stress and say, ‘I completely understand.’
Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of yourself isn't selfish; it's essential. Having fun, connecting with other adults and making time for activities that recharge you makes a big difference. One night out with your friends can help to alleviate 3 months of parenting in the trenches.
Redefine Success: (this is a big one!) Motherhood success isn't measured by how perfectly you keep your house, how well your children behave, or how much you "love" being a mom. It's about raising happy, healthy children and being the best version of yourself. Some days success as a Mom means parenting with a tablet or TV while other days you may feel like you’ve accomplished so much. Every day of being a Mom is different. On the days where you only have 30% to give to your kids, and you do, you have given 100% of what you had.
The truth is, it’s ok to not love Motherhood, in fact it's ok to hate Motherhood, at times.
You're not alone in feeling this way. Many mothers experience a range of emotions, from joy and fulfillment to frustration and exhaustion, and sometimes all in one day! It's important to acknowledge these feelings without judgment. By normalizing the hard reality of motherhood, we can create a more supportive and understanding community for mothers everywhere.
Break free from the toxic narrative of perfect motherhood.
This is your opportunity to be honest and open, without fear or shame. Schedule an appointment today and embrace the truth about Motherhood; that loving your kids doesn’t mean you have to love every moment of being a Mom.
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