Let's be honest, motherhood is tough. I’m not going to sugar coat it to remind you that it’s the most rewarding job, because my truth is, as a therapist and Mom of 2 is that sometimes, Motherhood just plain sucks.
It's a 24/7 gig with no sick days, no vacations, and no breaks. You're on call, always. You're expected to be patient, kind, and understanding, even when you're exhausted and overwhelmed. You have to rush to get over your own emotions, to make sure you’re not messing your kids up for life. You naturally become emotionally drained, constantly worrying if you are doing enough, making the Elf On The Shelf play in the right ways, get your kids to all the activities, and then just when the day is over and you can rest your eyes upon your pillow…you get thrown into a heaping pile of MOM GUILT.
You get peed on, pooped on, and thrown up on. You clean up messes, settle arguments, and soothe tears. You are a teacher, a cook, a nurse, and entertainer. And let's not forget, everyone online is out there reminding you to do it with a smile.
As a mom of two boys, I can honestly say that there have been times when I've lost my mind.
When my boys are both screaming at the top of their lungs, being physical with one another, as boys do…and I can't seem to get them to calm down, I feel like I'm going to lose it. I've yelled, I've cried, and I've even locked myself in the bathroom just to get a moment of peace.
And I know I'm not alone. But no one is out there saying that loud enough.
As a therapist to Moms in Monmouth County, I can share with you for certain that these are normal responses for Mothers to have, that shouldn’t illicit feelings of guilt, yet they do.
The problem is, society tells us that motherhood is our destiny, that it's what we're supposed to do. So many women enter Motherhood without actually wanting to be a Mom. We’ve been trained to do what we are told, and many of us women fall in line without the conscious understanding of just how hard this will be.
The truth is, motherhood is hard. It's a lot harder than anyone tells you it will be. And there aren’t enough people sharing that non judgmental truth on a regular basis.
I work with my clients to create appropriate solutions that fit their emotional needs and their real life. And while I do think it’s important to share that this can be, at times, the worst job in the world, I want to also share some practical tools that help us when we just can’t think otherwise.
Remember why you wanted a family. When you're feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to reflect on why you decided to have children in the first place. Was it to experience the joy of watching them grow? To teach them important values? Maybe you never really wanted a family, and that’s ok too. But maybe you had them because you loved the idea of having your children around the table at Christmas one day. Maybe you knew there was a part of you that needed a shot to re-do their own childhood. Or maybe you just needed to realize that you were capable of loving another unconditionally.
The hard parts of parenting do pass. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day challenges of parenting and forget that this is just a phase. Your boys won’t always beat each other up. The house won’t always be a disaster. And you won’t always live a life where you feel like no one is listening. Your children will grow up, and you'll look back on these moments knowing you gave your children everything you could (even though they still might not listen).
You constantly have opportunities to practice selflessness and compassion. While often this sucks, Motherhood is a great opportunity to develop these important qualities. When you put your children's needs before your own, you're not only helping them, but you're also helping yourself to grow as a person. Children are really a gift in this way. They force you to think outside of yourself so you can become better for them.
You are never alone in feeling like Motherhood is the worst. Just because Moms aren’t sharing it, doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling it or haven’t thought it.
Are you overwhelmed with the suck of motherhood taking over your day to day thoughts and actions? Getting the right support matters.
Schedule a FREE consultation right now so you can start to feel better, even though Motherhood sucks sometimes….SCHEDULE YOUR FREE CONSULTATION HERE
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